marriage

Bedtime

/ Leland Olson Hoel / 2 Comments

bedtime

DAILY PROMP
Bedtime
Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt.

Bedtime 1
Bed time means something different to just about everyone. When we were youngsters spending the night at grandma and grandpa’s house was quite an adventure. Grandma would unfold the old hide a bed couch and open it for two of us to sleep on. There was one big problem. This was usually during the summer time and the days were very long, telling a kid he has to go to bed and it’s still daylight out is almost like  jail time. There is no way youngsters are going to lay down, close their eyes and go to sleep while the sun is still shining outside. That is supposed to be time to be out playing and having fun. Grandma and grandpa thought different, bedtime was at 9 o’clock. There was no TV, or electronic games simply because we had no electricity. Our lights were kerosene lamps and for special occasions, one white gas lantern you pumped air into. It burned very bright, about like a 100 Watt bulb.

Bedtime 2
The young man starts looking at his true love with a special look in his eyes as evening approaches, anticipating their time together, it is approaching rapidly. The young lady says to her partner, “are you a sex maniac?” “We just did it on the couch, a few hours ago.”

Bedtime 3
George says to Martha, “kinda tired, think I’ll go to bed early, you coming along?” No, “I will finish this book, War and Peace.” “You just started that book.” Martha, “I told you 50 years ago when we got married that I love you, I still do. If anything changes I’ll let you know.”

Bedtime 4
I’ve been reaching deep into the recesses of my wrinkled memory bank. I seem to have some confusion trying to recall bedtime stories. There could be a possibility that it’s a childhood problem, developed from not having bedtime stories read to me as a child. I might be lacking the basic development tools that all children require. Bedtime stories are so positive and uplifting for young minds, it starts them down the right path. It usually keeps them on the road to a better education and a better life.

Bedtime 5
There is one bedtime story that I’ve been having difficulty with, all that comes to mind is bird watching and yellow breasted thrashers, I cannot understand how the two go together. I looked in all of my bird books. I cannot come up with any bird, known as the yellow breasted thrasher. It could be confusion in my old age, something keeps coming into my mind about my cousin returning from the Army. I was just a young lad at the time, I heard him tell others stories. His favorite story was a about the great time he had while he was in Asia, it was something to do with yellow breasted bed thrashers.

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Do Not Be Disappointed

/ Leland Olson Hoel / 6 Comments

disssapointment.jpg

“When they discover the center of the universe,
a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.”
Bernard Bailey

~~~discover/disappointed~~~

We often times set lofty goals in life without a thought of disappointment waiting in the wings. We should be more careful planning goals during all the stages of our lives. As children many goals are easily forgotten or disregarded, they never grow to a point of becoming a disappointment. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. That might have been a disappointment for the one waiting for the water but they turned it into a nursery rhyme and had fun with it.

Young people make career educational plans as they get older, they have to be very careful on deciding what goals are attainable by furthering their education through college years. Disappointments should not become a worry if they keep those goals practical and don’t try to catch the brass ring on the first year out into the working world. To discover disappointment that would be a hard pill to swallow.

In personal relationships, we must be careful not to try to mold the other person into what we would want to see that person become. A little tweaking is worth a try in the early years. The best policy would be to spend a lot of time together, get to know the other person very well before marriage. That other person has already decided on the person they want to be and they will present themselves to you as is. Take me or leave me, just don’t try to change me. Disappointments in relationships develop quite rapidly if we try to change the other person. Your influence and suggestions can surely be presented as improvement ideas, in non-forceful ways. Get it done early, or forget it and discover what it is like to be disappointed.

Marriage is one institution of higher learning where the word disappointed can carry a lot of weight and simmering hot meaning, Disappointment can become part of a daily lifestyle. It works best not to consider it disappointment at this stage. You might consider it as part of the sacred vows, for better or for worse. Nothing can ever be gained by feeling you are getting more of the worse than the better vows, maybe a very slight momentary satisfaction. The human mind gets set in its ways, there is nothing in this world that can change that, it is a proven fact. A mule with Alzheimer’s might be comparable! A full lobotomy might be tried!

From the tiniest things like toilet paper rolls put on backward every time. Light switches never shut off, thermostats always being turned to the highest reading, nothing ever put back in the same place two times in a row, drawers left open, doors left open, shoes scattered in every room, food left out, cereal left open. These are just everyday incidents, all part of living with another person. Should these little things disappoint? They create one-sided friction, a halfway rash or abrasion. Nothing worth doing time over! As we grow older, we do discover disappointed comes under acceptable marriage qualities, something tolerable in life. Major marriage qualities seem to drop like Autumn Leaves as the years go by, memories even fog over, makes it much easier to discover new disappointment.

https://lghoelson.wordpress.com/

Fears evolve over time. What is one fear you’ve conquered?

/ Leland Olson Hoel / 1 Comment

Fears evolve over time. What is one fear you’ve conquered?

Marriage

I will have to say one fear that I finally conquered was getting married. I have had talks with myself through the years. They would go something like this. Hey self, ‘yes,’ “you sure your not gay,” ‘self, of course not, no way.’

I played high school football and had several different dates in high school. This one young lady and I had a bad case of puppy love that lasted about a year. Then a cheerleader from another town came along and that became more serious. She sent me a Dear John letter while I was in boot camp. I got to thinking later, never hit many home runs in high school, then I didn’t play baseball either. A second cheerleader was very special, she kept in touch with me while I served two years in Japan. I should have been far more considerate of her, for my future and hers.

I told myself dad beating up on my mother every other week had no bearing on me and my female relationships. My stepdad was a sex pervert who liked boys, that should’ve had nothing to do with me, he might have been an altar boy at one time.

I got sent to Japan for two years in 1960, there was a young lady working in our squadron coffee shop and We knew at first glance, THIS IS IT, we grew to be so close, it was as if our souls became one. In 1962 we said goodbye to each other at the train station in Tokyo. Half of me flew home the next day, and the other half never made it back to the USA. We exchanged letters for a long time.

In 1964 my back was broken in a car wreck. If you are lucky enough to get your neck broken there can be some sex after spinal cord injury. My fracture was in the thoracic-lumbar region, bowel, bladder, sex and one leg affected. I have often thought, that was my payback for being inconsiderate of my female friends and a coward when it came to marriage.

I tried living the life of a hermit for a couple years in Northern Minnesota. If you want to be a hermit, you better like lonely, that’s about all I can say about the hermit lifestyle.

My cousin like a brother was driving a refrigerated truck from Sioux Falls South Dakota to Arizona and California every week. He talked me into working with him. If we had a load of meat for Tucson Arizona, we stayed at the same motel every week, it was nice and they had a pool, bar, and a small dance floor. That is where I met my wife to be, this was 1969. At that time the family was even starting to look at me with that look in their eyes, is he or isn’t he, like marriage is supposed to be for everyone? I don’t think so!

Rose Marie and I dated, parked out in the desert, and talked while listening to the Martians, desert sounds, etc. We did lots of dancing, some drinking, then decided to get married, sort of a take care of each other in old age deal, that’s now where we’re at. She had four daughters and a grandson when we got married. After 44 years I have lost track of how many grandchildren and great-grandchildren there are.

My life has been under constant change living with a spinal injury. I lose more ability to do things almost daily. It is an effort anymore just to do daily things that everyone takes for granted. Life is still good and it will go on as long as the creator has something for us to do. We may as well make the most of each new day that we are given.

An older brother said one time, “married men live longer,” ‘no,’ “it just seems longer.” He said it as a joke but I do believe a married man might live a little longer.

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