This is Wideload

The story below is about Boots.

One of our four daughters always had cats but was never good at emptying dirty cat boxes. I warned her all the time,”if you don’t dump that box, boots is going bye-bye.” Boots was one of many cats in our lives, kinda special.

That cat was smart he knew he would forfeit one of his nine lives if he made a mess on the carpet. One day when his box was dirty he decided to warn her too. He went to the bathroom with her. When she was sitting on the toilet, Boots dumped his load in the shower drain hole. Right dead center, looked like a small, bad colored Dairy Queen cone. Trying to cover it up threw him into a frenzy, he just spun his wheels in the tub. He used his box after that until it got nasty, then returned to his shower drain toilet.

Boots did meet with an early demise but not by my hands. He got into the fan belt on the oldest girls car. The girls had a very noisy trial right at the car. The hood still open and Boots in the fan belt. No premeditation was determined, that brought some peace to a fairly heated scene. There was a very short mourning period, then it was decided to have a funeral. The girls wanted to know where to bury Boots. We lived in Tucson at the time, our place was surrounded by desert. I told them to bury him out in the peaceful desert, just watch out for snakes.

Never let kids bury anything by themselves. A very foul smell surrounded the house about a week later. They had buried the cat about five feet from the house, with barely enough dirt to cover him up. I was in charge of the dis-internment detail, all by myself, no volunteers came forward. That cat had been dead for a week but I could see him smirking at me through my tear filled eyes. My eyes were watering from retching and choking all the way to the new grave site.

Our daughter continued to keep cats after she got married. Her husband scoops the poop. You have to wonder, what was on a loving God’s mind when he made cats? He must have already had plans for Adam and Eve, and wanted some way to test true love. Cats want unconditional love, if you don’t give it, you go on their list. You will only get looks of contempt from them. Most family members are loving their cats 24/7, so dad doesn’t get a chance to show the cat much love.

Dad ends up dumping the poop, he does this because he loves the family, not because he’s a wimp. Cats probably consider it cat box justice for those who don’t give them enough affection. It has to be God’s test for true love because scooping poop is far above and beyond the call of duty.